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SMALL WONDERS:
A couple of pleasant distractions
By Patrick Caneday
Daughter 1: Are you writing your article, Daddy?
Daddy: Trying to.
Daughter 2: What’s it about?
Daddy: I don’t know yet.
D1: Why not?
Daddy: I don’t know. I can’t think of anything to write about.
D2: Daddy, you should write about Nutty Boy.
Daddy: The squirrel in the backyard?
D2: Yeah.
Daddy: What should I say about him?
D2: That he likes nuts and eats all the sunflower seeds out of your birdseed.
Daddy: Hmmm. I’ll think about that.
D1: Daddy how do you spell “squirrel?”
Daddy: S-q-u-i-r-r-e-l
D2: Daddy, how do you spell “bird?”
Daddy: B-i-r-d
D1: Daddy, how do you spells “nuts?”
Daddy: D-a-u-g-h-t-e-r-s
D1: Nu-uh!
Daddy: OK, guys, I have to write, so why don’t you go play outside?
D1: I don’t want to.
D2: Can I sit on your lap?
Daddy: Really, guys, I have to come up with something to write about this week. Can I just have a little time to do this? It is a beautiful day outside.
D1: When’s mommy coming home?
Daddy: When’s Halley’s Comet due back?
D1: Huh?
Daddy: Soon, honey. Real soon.
D2: Daddy, can I work on the computer?
Daddy: No! Guys, I have to get something done here. Seriously.
D2: Buuut i reeellllyyyy wantt tu werk onnn thhe kummpewtr....
Daddy: STOP THAT! Don’t touch the keyboard when Daddy’s working. I mean it. Go outside.
D1: But I’m bored. I want you to come outside too.
Daddy: (help me, please help me, please please please help me . . . )
D2: Daddy, why are you whispering?
Daddy: I’m praying.
D1: Praying for what?
Daddy: Grace.
D2: You should write about God!
Daddy: Good idea. Now let me . . .
D1: Or Father’s Day.
Daddy: Done that.
D2: Write about your shoes!
Daddy: I am going to shoot myself.
D1: Daddy! That’s not nice. Remember your house rule? “No being mean to yourself or others.” And shooting yourself is definitely being mean to yourself.
Daddy: (sigh) Yes, that is my house rule.
D2: And “No choking.”
Daddy: Right, that’s my other rule. No choking allowed.
D1: But, Daddy, what if I can’t help it and something is just stuck in my throat?
Daddy: You’d be in big trouble, missy. That is definitely against the rules.
D2: Like “No throwing knives.”
Daddy: That’s more of a guideline than a rule. But yeah.
D2: Cuz you threw that knife that one time?
Daddy: Can we change the subject?
D1: I’m bored.
Daddy: Get your markers and do some coloring . . . outside.
D2: Daddy look at me do a cartwheel!
D1: No, daddy! Daddy! Watch me do a cartwheel!
Daddy: Watch out for the table! (crash)
D1: Sorry, daddy. I’m a bad girl!
Daddy: No you’re not. Remember the house rule?
D1: But I’m not choking.
Daddy: No, the other one.
D2: No throwing knives!
Daddy: Guideline. The other one. No being mean to yourself.
D1: OK, daddy.
D2: Daddy how do you spell “booger?”
Daddy: OK, seriously, I have to get some writing done. Can I just have a little . . .
D1: Daddy, how do you think of stuff to write about?
Daddy: ( . . . help . . . me . . . please . . . ) It starts by having a little peace and quiet. Then I look around and try to find good things and good people that I think are interesting.
D2: Then what?
Daddy: Then I try to find that little thing that makes them seem special.
D1: How do you know what that is?
Daddy: I don’t always know. Sometimes you have to look really hard. But it is always there.
D1: Kind of like Hide and Seek?
Daddy: Kind of like Truth or Dare. But I always have to go first, and I always have to choose Truth.
D1: That’s not fair.
Daddy: Sure it is.
D2: How come?
Daddy: I don’t know. I just want to make people smile. Maybe cry. I want people to know they aren’t alone, and we can learn a lot from each other.
D1: What do you call your article?
Daddy: Small Wonders.
D2: Why?
Daddy: Because it’s about the little joys in life.
D1: Like what?
Daddy: Like sunsets and sunrises. Onion rings with ranch dressing. People that are nice just because. The way mommy’s face lights up when she smiles. The sound of your laugh when you’re giggling uncontrollably. Friends that call for no reason. Baby feet. The freckles across the bridge of your nose.
D2: That’s silly, daddy.
D1: Daddy, how do you spell “wonders?”
Daddy: D-a-u-g-h-t-e-r-s
D1 and D2: Nu-uh!
Yu-huh.
PATRICK CANEDAY is a freelance writer who lives and works in Burbank. He may be reached at patrickcaneday@ gmail.com.
Daddy: Trying to.
Daughter 2: What’s it about?
Daddy: I don’t know yet.
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Daddy: I don’t know. I can’t think of anything to write about.
D2: Daddy, you should write about Nutty Boy.
Daddy: The squirrel in the backyard?
D2: Yeah.
Daddy: What should I say about him?
D2: That he likes nuts and eats all the sunflower seeds out of your birdseed.
Daddy: Hmmm. I’ll think about that.
D1: Daddy how do you spell “squirrel?”
Daddy: S-q-u-i-r-r-e-l
D2: Daddy, how do you spell “bird?”
Daddy: B-i-r-d
D1: Daddy, how do you spells “nuts?”
Daddy: D-a-u-g-h-t-e-r-s
D1: Nu-uh!
Daddy: OK, guys, I have to write, so why don’t you go play outside?
D1: I don’t want to.
D2: Can I sit on your lap?
Daddy: Really, guys, I have to come up with something to write about this week. Can I just have a little time to do this? It is a beautiful day outside.
D1: When’s mommy coming home?
Daddy: When’s Halley’s Comet due back?
D1: Huh?
Daddy: Soon, honey. Real soon.
D2: Daddy, can I work on the computer?
Daddy: No! Guys, I have to get something done here. Seriously.
D2: Buuut i reeellllyyyy wantt tu werk onnn thhe kummpewtr....
Daddy: STOP THAT! Don’t touch the keyboard when Daddy’s working. I mean it. Go outside.
D1: But I’m bored. I want you to come outside too.
Daddy: (help me, please help me, please please please help me . . . )
D2: Daddy, why are you whispering?
Daddy: I’m praying.
D1: Praying for what?
Daddy: Grace.
D2: You should write about God!
Daddy: Good idea. Now let me . . .
D1: Or Father’s Day.
Daddy: Done that.
D2: Write about your shoes!
Daddy: I am going to shoot myself.
D1: Daddy! That’s not nice. Remember your house rule? “No being mean to yourself or others.” And shooting yourself is definitely being mean to yourself.
Daddy: (sigh) Yes, that is my house rule.
D2: And “No choking.”
Daddy: Right, that’s my other rule. No choking allowed.
D1: But, Daddy, what if I can’t help it and something is just stuck in my throat?
Daddy: You’d be in big trouble, missy. That is definitely against the rules.
D2: Like “No throwing knives.”
Daddy: That’s more of a guideline than a rule. But yeah.
D2: Cuz you threw that knife that one time?
Daddy: Can we change the subject?
D1: I’m bored.
Daddy: Get your markers and do some coloring . . . outside.
D2: Daddy look at me do a cartwheel!
D1: No, daddy! Daddy! Watch me do a cartwheel!
Daddy: Watch out for the table! (crash)
D1: Sorry, daddy. I’m a bad girl!
Daddy: No you’re not. Remember the house rule?
D1: But I’m not choking.
Daddy: No, the other one.
D2: No throwing knives!
Daddy: Guideline. The other one. No being mean to yourself.
D1: OK, daddy.
D2: Daddy how do you spell “booger?”
Daddy: OK, seriously, I have to get some writing done. Can I just have a little . . .
D1: Daddy, how do you think of stuff to write about?
Daddy: ( . . . help . . . me . . . please . . . ) It starts by having a little peace and quiet. Then I look around and try to find good things and good people that I think are interesting.
D2: Then what?
Daddy: Then I try to find that little thing that makes them seem special.
D1: How do you know what that is?
Daddy: I don’t always know. Sometimes you have to look really hard. But it is always there.
D1: Kind of like Hide and Seek?
Daddy: Kind of like Truth or Dare. But I always have to go first, and I always have to choose Truth.
D1: That’s not fair.
Daddy: Sure it is.
D2: How come?
Daddy: I don’t know. I just want to make people smile. Maybe cry. I want people to know they aren’t alone, and we can learn a lot from each other.
D1: What do you call your article?
Daddy: Small Wonders.
D2: Why?
Daddy: Because it’s about the little joys in life.
D1: Like what?
Daddy: Like sunsets and sunrises. Onion rings with ranch dressing. People that are nice just because. The way mommy’s face lights up when she smiles. The sound of your laugh when you’re giggling uncontrollably. Friends that call for no reason. Baby feet. The freckles across the bridge of your nose.
D2: That’s silly, daddy.
D1: Daddy, how do you spell “wonders?”
Daddy: D-a-u-g-h-t-e-r-s
D1 and D2: Nu-uh!
Yu-huh.
PATRICK CANEDAY is a freelance writer who lives and works in Burbank. He may be reached at patrickcaneday@ gmail.com.
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